The Sound of Goodbye
by r0xas
Summary: Naminé and her family move to Destiny Islands for a fresh start, but the memories of what she's trying to escape keep coming back. After a night out with her best friend, Xion, things become further complicated. How can Naminé build a new life when all she wants to do is say goodbye? AU. Roxas/Naminé.
1. Chapter 1

When Xion asked for Sour Power Straws, I knew I was in trouble.

I stood on my tippy-toes and peeked over the big red sign in the storefront that advertised "SANDWICHES, CIGARETTES, CANDY" and into the deli. Leon, the owner, was behind the counter, reading the newspaper and tapping his fingers idly. The candy was just below the counter, a bright assortment for sugar-hungry children to grab at while their weary mothers exchanged tired smiles with Leon. The strawberry flavor Xion was especially fond of seemed to scream out at me.

I sighed and returned to my normal stance, shooting a look at her. "Why do _I _have to get them? Why can't you?"

Xion shifted her backpack to the other shoulder and rolled her eyes, like she'd explained this to me a million times - which she hadn't, for the record. "Be_cause_, Leon will tell my parents. They'd kill me."

Xion's parents were completely against the consumption of sugary products, but that didn't stop her from getting her hands on them, anyway. She always had some sort of candy in her backpack, and was never short of the Sour Power Straws. That's why I was so worried - if she hadn't stocked up on them in time, something was on her mind.

Something I was probably not going to like.

"Fine, fine," I groaned.

"You're the best," she said as I opened the front door and stepped inside.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled under my breath, only for me to hear, as she scrambled around the corner where she was out of Leon's sight.

He smiled at me as he rang up my purchase. "You're from the family that just moved here, right?" he commented.

That's the thing about living on a small island like this; word gets around super fast. It freaked me out a bit at first, the way everyone knew me simply because they _didn't_.

I nodded as I took my change. Leave it to Xion to give me a ten-dollar bill and say "As much as you can with that. That'll be a _start_."

"That's nice. I hope you're liking it here so far. I'd like to think we're all good people." He shot me a grin.

"I do," I said, and I wasn't lying. People had been nice enough so far, which is great, considering -

Nope. I was not going to think about that. That's why we came here after all, wasn't it?

Pocketing my change, I said my thanks and left the store, turning the corner and giving the bag of candy to my best friend.

"You're the best, Naminé." She swiped some of her dark bangs out of her face and started opening a packet. Though her hair was short, her bangs were somehow always still in her eyes. I wanted to offer to cut them for her, but I wasn't sure if she'd take it as an insult or something. "Come on, let's walk."

It was a beautiful day out. Then again, when was there ever a dreary day on the island? I watched our shadows as we made our way to the park. Xion was halfway done with her packet by the time she plopped her butt down on a bench. I didn't join her; instead, I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked around, trying to take in as much of the park as I could.

There was a fountain in the middle of it, and I often saw little kids playing in it before angry parents dragged them out, soaked head to toe. I'd be lying if I said I never wanted to jump in myself, at least _once _this summer. The flowers were nearly blinding at times; the assortment of bright colors were gorgeous, but a bit much at times. Still, it was hard not to feel like you were alive when you were in this park. With the right amount of sunshine, there was practically no such thing as sadness.

"So," Xion began slyly. I braced myself. Whatever she had to say couldn't be too good for me.

"So..." I prompted cautiously, sitting down next to her.

She chewed on a piece of candy for a moment before continuing. I think this was meant to make her look totally innocent so I'd bend at her will. She gave me her best sweet-face and widened her bright blue eyes slightly. A pink straw dangled cutely from her mouth. _Dammit, Xion._

"There's this, um, this thing tomorrow night."

"A... thing?"

"Yeah. Well, it's a, you know, a show."

"Uh-huh..."

"A band, I mean."

"...right..."

"And I kind of need you to go with me."

I groaned. For one, we didn't even listen to the same type of music; just a few hours with her iPod blaring and I'd have the migraine of the century. The most pressing matter to me, though, was that there'd be, eugh, _people_ there.

I detest people, completely and one-hundred percent detest them. Well, maybe that's a lie. It's more that I prefer to be alone than with a bunch of people. There's just so much peace, you know? You can't get peace when people are around you, breaking all of your stuff or prodding you with questions you don't want to answer. I really enjoy keeping to myself sometimes; I don't need anybody to disrupt that.

The thought of standing in a crowd with music I don't even like blasting and rattling my brain made me want to puke. Xion should've known by now; after all, she remembers how we met. But when I looked up at her, she still had that hopeful look on her face, like she was going to cry if I didn't go with her. It wouldn't surprise me if she did, really.

"Xi," I sighed, slouching where I sat. "You know how much I-"

"I know, I know! But Nam, they're awesome, seriously! Their stuff is really good. You should check it out. I really think you'd like them."

"Maybe, but-"

"Naminé, please!" Xion's smile had dissipated and now she just had this sad little pout on her face. It made me want to cringe. "I _really, really, really _need to go!"

"So go!" I said. "Why do I have to go with you? Going alone never stopped you from going to shows before, right?"

If I hadn't been looking at her so closely, I would've missed it. She was actually _blushing_. "Oh. _Oh_. You like someone in the band, don't you Xion?"

"Shh!" she hissed, covering my mouth. Yes, because all the four-year-olds running around catching butterflies were going to scurry off with this piece of scandalous information. "Yes, okay? I do. I like someone a lot. If I go alone and he sees me there, he might think I'm some stalker-chick or something."

I pried her hand off of my face. Looking at her, I knew I was done for. She was my best friend, the only friend I had on this island, in fact, and I knew I couldn't just say no to her. She must have seen the resignation in my face, because she threw her arms around me immediately.

"Please stop choking me," I managed. She sat back, unable to hide the pure elation on her face.

"You won't regret this!" she promised.

I'd better not.

ღ

Here's the downside to having a best friend who's kind of the complete opposite of you: you have no idea what to wear to go out with her.

I stood in front of my closet, hands on my hips in frustration. Xion was going to be picking me up in an hour, and I still had no clue what to wear. I hated to be one of those girls who obsessed about her appearance, but I hated even more to have negative attention on me, and that's exactly what I was sure to get if I showed up at the show with something out of my closet.

It's not that I had particularly girly clothes. Actually, I didn't have much of a style at all. Mom and I had thrown out a lot of our old clothes when we moved. It was supposed to be one of those "fresh start" types of things. I didn't mind; I figured I'd just go shopping before school started.

"Naminé, your friend is here."

I looked up to see Sora standing in the doorway, sipping from a juice box. His free hand was lazily crammed into his shorts. His blue and white hoodie had a juice stain on it. My brother was perpetually clumsy, but he always managed to brush it off with a charming grin.

"Great, can you send her up?" I asked.

"Sure." He paused before heading downstairs. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to a show tonight with Xion and I have no idea what to wear," I explained.

"A show?" He cocked his head to the left curiously. I nodded. "Does... Mom know?"

I froze. I'd told her about hanging out with Xion earlier, but I just _maybe _left out the part about going to a concert. I couldn't help it; I didn't need her to worry. Mom needed to know that I was okay, even if I wasn't totally sure of it myself. At least not yet, anyway.

Sora took my silence as an answer. Thankfully, his eyes seemed to soften. "I won't tell. But you have to promise me that you're sure you'll-"

"She'll be fine." Xion sauntered into my room and sat down on my bed. She ran her hands over the white sheets. "I'll keep an eye on her. Don't worry, Sora, okay?"

Sora, bless his heart, would worry anyway. That's what made him such a good older brother. He looked like he wanted to be a good sport about this whole thing, though, and so he raised his hands in front of him in a cooperative gesture. "Alright. I'll try. Have fun, Nam." He smiled wearily at me and sulked off to his room. I felt bad for a moment until Xion jabbed my side and brought me back from my thoughts.

"What's with all the clothes? It looks like a tornado hit your closet."

Clothes were strewn about on the floor and hanging from their hangers pathetically. I admit I'd been kind of distraught about this whole thing... okay, _very _distraught. Could you blame me?

"I should have known," Xion said with a cluck of her tongue and a chuckle. "Why do you have to obsess over this? You know I've got you covered." She gestured to the foot of her bed, where she'd placed a black duffel bag on top of one of my stuffed animals. His little bear-arms stuck out from under the bag as though he were screaming for mercy.

"You brought clothes for me?" I peeked into the bag and saw dark jeans and a One Ok Rock shirt. I pulled them out and stared at them. "That's it? Really?"

"That's it." Xion took the shirt from my hands. "I don't know how you don't listen to them more often; they're so good."

I sniffed.

"Oh, Nam," she said, still looking at the shirt. "You didn't know. You've never been to these things before. I know you're used to obsessing, but it's really nothing, see? You didn't have to make sure a big fuss, but like I said, you didn't-"

"It's not that," I said, hating the way my voice sounded so shaky. Why did I _always _have to get so damn emotional? "It's just, you didn't have to do this."

"That's what friends are for." She looked up at me then, and something in her face changed. "Naminé... do you want to-"

"No," I cut her off abruptly. "No. I don't want to talk about it. Not... not now, okay?"

She nodded slowly, understanding. "Alright," she said softly. Then, sensing how uncomfortable I was getting with the sudden sympathetic vibe in the air, she jumped up. "Okay, missy, get those clothes on! I got here early to make sure you looked perfect and felt great._ Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon-_"

I laughed and ushered her out of the room. "Okay, okay!"

_That's what friends are for._ The sentence lingered in my mind as I slipped the shirt over my head. It smelled like strawberry and a hint of sea-salt; it smelled like Xion.

_That's what friends are for_.


	2. Chapter 2

The entire way to the venue, Xion and I fought over what music to play.

"How can you _stand _this?" Xion shrieked over the bubblegum pop that was blaring from her speakers.

I shrugged. Honestly, it wasn't the only thing I listened to, but after what she did for me in my room, I needed to get my mind off of things. This was the best way to do it. Besides, the way Xion scrunched up her face in disgust was amusing. I threw my hands into the air and began singing along with it. She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Why are we friends, again?" she said, shaking her head.

I laughed and started scrolling through my iPod, looking for something she'd be happier with. She squealed when I played her favorite band and threw me an appreciative look. I'd downloaded their albums so I could support her, but I'd never admit to her that I actually really liked them. The way she teased me was kind of nice; I liked to think we made a nice dichotomy.

Moose, the bar/lounge where the band would be playing, was completely packed. I had to admit, I hadn't really expected it to be like this. From what Xion had said on the phone last night, they were a local band. It seemed like the whole island was here to listen to them tonight. Maybe it was just another example of how close-knit the people living here could be - show of support, and all that. I let out a low whistle at the turnout.

Walking in, I let my eyes sweep around the place. It was dimly lit; I could see a few lights hanging overhead in the bar area. A blonde man wiped the countertop and glared at everyone who was crowded around the stage. You'd think he'd be a little more happy about the extra customers tonight, but I guessed that since most of the people here tonight would be underage, he wouldn't get the business he seemed to be looking for as much as he'd get screaming teenagers.

The lounge area away from the bar was normally adorned with several small round tables with a dinky candle barely illuminating the space; tonight, however, it seemed that the tables had been cleared away in order to make room for the huge crowd. Knowing Xion's taste in music, they'd be jumping around all night and the lounge couldn't afford to have any damage.

People ambled around with excited grins on their faces. I'd never seen so many people wearing dark jeans in one place. Thanks to Xion's clothing, I fit right in. Someone called out to me "Sweet shirt!" while Xion and I tried to push our way to the front.

I thought I was going to suffocate. "Xi, please, can we just stay off to the side or something?" I begged as we elbowed our way forward. Somebody next to me in a dark blue shirt smelled like they hadn't showered in days. Yuck.

"No!" Xion called back. She sounded panicked, and I thought of the red tint to her face when I asked if she'd had a crush on someone in the band. Relenting, I let her drag me to the front of the crowd just as the crowd started to scream. My ears rang in displeasure.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Xion was squeaking next to me. Her eyes were already practically sparkling. She was biting her lip so hard, I thought she might tear it. I don't think I'd ever seen her so excited in the short time I'd known her. Even though my ears were going to be ringing later, I liked seeing my best friend so happy.

The screams got louder, if such a thing is possible, and I knew before my eyes landed on the stage that the band was walking out. Xion squeezed my hand.

The first person to walk out was a boy of about nineteen years old. His silver hair shone under the light of the stage as he took his place at the drums. I could hear a crowd of girls to the side screeching, "_RIKU!_" at the top of their lungs, and I took that to be his name. Riku didn't pay them any mind; he twirled his drumsticks lazily, nodding his head to a beat only he seemed to hear. Xion squeezed my hand _hard _and I immediately knew that this was the one she had her eye on.

The next boy sauntered onto the stage and brought out a chorus of screams from somewhere to our right. Unlike Riku, this boy sent a devilish grin into the audience as he positioned his bass guitar. His dark hair contrasted his surprisingly golden eyes and sent shivers down my spine.

"Did you see that!? Vanitas just smiled at me!" a girl was yelling practically in my ear.

_That was _so _not a friendly smile_, I thought to myself while she continued to gush to her friend about how this meant they were "meant to be". Right.

Cheers erupted when the last member of the band came out, already with his guitar. He was sipping a bottle of water, which he placed next to him on the floor. When he looked up into the crowd and smiled, my attention was immediately on him. He had the clearest blue eyes I'd ever seen. He wore a sleeveless black shirt with a single white star on it and a black-and-white checkered wristband. His eyes scanned the crowd, seemingly taking everyone in, and he nodded slowly.

"What's up, everyone?" he said into the mic, sending yet another wave of screams through the bar. His smile widened; I could tell he must love that sound. "My name's Roxas and I - gee, you guys seriously don't know how happy I am to see the turnout tonight. The support, I can just, man, I can just _feel _it. It's in the air."

Vanitas rolled his eyes and Riku flashed a tiny smile.

"Thanks, Destiny Island, for coming out here tonight to support No Service. We're going to play you the best damn show this island has ever seen!"

Someone in the back shouted "YEAH!" and suddenly the crowd was drowned out with the sound of music from the stage. They'd begun playing; I recognized the song immediately: "NO SCARED" by One Ok Rock. I couldn't tell you how many times a week I heard this song thanks to Xion. I felt myself begin to relax and sway to the sound of the music.

They played a lot of covers during the show. To Xion's and several others' delight, many of them were One Ok Rock songs. I almost cried during their cover of "Et Cetera" and to this day, I have no idea why. The entire club seemed to be rocking with the music, feeling it and letting their emotions be their eyes, and Xion looked so happy; I couldn't keep myself from smiling and giving her hand a squeeze.

Finally, the band played their last song. "I'd like to end tonight with an original song," Roxas said, taking a swig of water. Beads of sweat raced down his forehead. Riku had pulled his hair back. Vanitas wiped his face with his shirt, earning shrieks from the girls in the crowd.

"It's kind of mellow," Roxas went on. "It's called 'Silence'."

The crowd quieted down. The lights on the stage dimmed. I saw Roxas take a deep breath before his voice sounded through the bar.

Immediately, something in my chest constricted.

_If lights are the ways the guide you home,  
Then why do I still feel so alone  
Among all the brightness you say  
Illuminates my face?_

_If words are the force that strike me down,  
Then why am I speechless on the ground  
With no words to fight back;  
Have they been misplaced?_

The song had begun softly at first; at this point, the guitars roared to life, screaming, angry and desperate. Roxas himself looked pained as he sang. I felt something growing inside of me that I couldn't quite identify, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

_Mayday, mayday  
I am sending out a signal for you  
Someone, someone  
Tell me how on earth I'm gonna get through_

_Their claws are relentless  
I'm such a fucking mess  
In silence that screams so loud_

I clutched Xion's hand, digging my nails into her palm. She mistook it for excitement and tossed me a happy look before turning her attention back to No Service. Roxas' voice was filling my head, turning my vision upside down. I suddenly needed nothing more than to be away from the bar. Just as I was bracing myself to make my way outside with or without Xion, the song ended. The whole place erupted in jubilant cheers and whooping. "Thank you, thank you!" Roxas was calling out with a wave.

"Let's go," I shouted above the noise to my best friend.

"Wait, but I -"

"Xion, let's _go_." The urgency in my voice reached her, and she nodded reluctantly.

I tossed one last glance at the stage as we pushed through all of the sweaty people that were gathered there that night. Riku was already headed backstage and Vanitas tossed his shirt into the audience with a laugh. Roxas was chuckling at his bandmate and the overly excited girls in the crowd. For a moment, our eyes met, and his expression softened. I opened my mouth as if to say something, then shut it immediately. He held my gaze for a while longer, then raised his hand and gave me a quick wave. Xion yanked me through the door.

I immediately breathed in the fresh night air of the island, happy to smell the sea salt once again. I hadn't realized how sweaty I'd gotten as well. Xion pushed her bangs away from her forehead, and for once, they stayed.

"Whoa," she breathed. "Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. That was - that was just so freaking awesome!"

I nodded, and she kept going. "They were so - oh my _God, _Naminé, they covered all of my favorite songs. And that original one, that was just, wow. Wow, you know? _Wow!_"

"I'm tired," I told her when we climbed into her car, instantly regretting the ice in my voice. I didn't mean to, but I also really didn't want to talk about the original song. I just wanted to go home and sleep and hope I didn't dream of oceans of groupies and the stench of B.O.

"Okay," Xion said. If she'd heard the attitude in my voice, she didn't comment on it. Instead, she turned on the radio, keeping it at a low volume, and letting acoustic melodies carry us home.

ღ

_I didn't care to leave the closet in the first place, but that didn't make it any less scary when the door wouldn't budge. I had pushed as hard as I could, with all my might, but still, it wouldn't open. Fear began to sweep over me. I had locked myself in here while throwing a fit and, in a fit of tears, had warned everyone that I was never coming out. What if they weren't looking for me? What if they left me here? What if I _died _in here? I began to weep, slumped against an old jacket left behind by Dad. It smelled like him - Old Spice and grass. _

_"Naminé?" Sora's voice came through the door, sounding like salvation to my ears. "Are you in there?"_

_I was so happy to hear him, and yet I still felt so incredibly stubborn in that I still didn't want anybody to see me. I breathed in and dust attacked my lungs; the longing for the outside world suddenly outweighed the thought of my brother seeing my tears._

_"Sora!" I called out, though it sounded more like _So-oh-oh-oh-raaaa! _"I'm in here. I can't get out."_

_"Um, um..." Sora seemed to be fidgeting outside, looking around and wondering what he could do to get his kid sister out of the closet. "Hold on, Naminé. I'm gonna pull on the door really hard, okay? I need you to push."_

_I suddenly felt really tired, overcome with the need to sleep and forget the afternoon had ever happened. Leaning into Dad's jacket, I looked down at my small hands and sniffed. "I don't think I can do it." _

_"You can, Nami, you can. Trust me. Okay, ready?" I heard the doorknob jiggle as he grabbed onto it. I positioned my hands on the smooth wood of the door. "Push!"_

_I thrust all of my weight forward, and I heard Sora groan as he pulled on the doorknob. There was a terrible groaning sound as the door unwedged itself from the doorway, and suddenly the smell of vanilla was in the air around me and Sora was crying underneath me._

_"You're okay," he was saying in between sobs. "You're okay."_

_We sat up and I grabbed onto his shirt, letting my tears soak into the cotton. He looped his arms around me and cried quietly into my hair. "I'm sorry he left, Naminé, but I'll protect you now. We'll be a team now. I'll be the man of the house. I'll b-b-be a better man than Dad ever was, you'll s-see."_

_There we sat, a seven and eight year old on Mom's mahogany colored bedroom floor, crying over a disappearing shadow._

I let the memory fall away as I closed the door to Sora's bedroom. I'd stood in the doorway watching him sleep for the past five minutes, as I did most mornings. I know, I know, it's pretty creepy to spy on your older brother sleeping. I just needed to make sure he was okay. And real. That day was the beginning of many where Sora came to my rescue and helped me stand on my feet again. I'd always looked up to him, my brother who tried his best to walk around as though he was donned in armour. I knew, though, that he was breakable, and so even though I couldn't always see it when he was putting on his tough face or that day that he - _no, no Naminé, don't think about that day -_ I could see it when he slept. I could see it in the way that his chest rose and fell slowly and the way his lips curled upward when he had a sweet dream and the way his voice squeaked when he mumbled in his sleep.

Mom was waiting at the kitchen table when I got downstairs. She was twirling a blonde strand of hair around her slender finger nervously. She was staring into her cup of coffee like she could see the meaning of life in there.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She seemed to snap out of her trance and looked up at me.

"Yeah. Yes. I'm fine. Good morning. Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"I slept okay."

"Did you?" I looked up from where I was pouring cereal at the counter to see her blue eyes staring into my own with concern. I knew she worried about the way I woke up earlier than my brother ever since - _I said STOP IT, Naminé! - _but really, there was nothing to worry about, the way I saw it. At least Mom would never have to worry about me being late for school.

_School_. The word made my stomach twist into a knot. Today would be the first day of school at Destiny Islands High School. Normally, I'd have been having lady-boners for the smell of freshly cracked notebooks and the way my pens felt as they danced across my papers; today, however, I could only try my best to block out negative thoughts and keep my cereal down until lunch.

"Yes, I did," I told her, taking a bite of my breakfast. We looked at each other a moment longer.

I felt so badly for Mom. She'd been working hard on her own since Dad left, but the past year had really taken a toll on her. Her hair fell listlessly to her shoulders and she seemed to have worry etched into her expression perpetually. I tried my best not to worry her, but it always seemed to happen anyway.

Not this year.

"Is Xion going to drive you?" she asked me, taking a sip of her coffee. I nodded. "And your brother?"

"He's going to get a ride with us, at least for the first week."

"That's good." The silence hung in the air between us when the last syllable left her mouth. Neither of us wanted to bring it up. I heard her take a shaky breath and knew she was about to ask.

"How are... I mean, do you feel... are you okay? About today? School and all?" She tried to sound casual, but I could hear her voice falter.

My spoon clanked against my bowl while I stirred, watching the pieces swirl around as though in a tiny whirlpool. "Yeah," I answered, though my voice wasn't as casual as I'd hoped.

"Naminé, if you -", she started, but I got up abruptly.

"I'm going to wake up Sora. You know how he takes super long showers."

I tried my best to ignore the look of concern on my mother's face as I raced upstairs, eager to leave my demons at the landing.


End file.
